What Do I Do Now?

The worst thing about retirement is not having a job, a goal, a responsibility. I saw it when my husband retired. He was ready to retire from the job, but he wasn't ready to be jobless. Now I have moved to a retirement home. There are activities but they are meaningless. There are some things I have to do, like wash my clothes and pay bills. But none of these are meaningful. They pass time. The activities like playing cards or dominoes are just passing times. Reading is better-at least it gives me a chance to interact with
thoughts and ideas. I don't really do well with games even though the people are interesting and challenging. When the game ends I don't feel accomplishment or victory. I feel like I have wasted time, and I don't feel good about it. 

I've got to go back to work. I've got to feel productive. Of course, what I want to do is not really something that increases the gross national product, but since I have to wrestle with ideas and produce a logical argument, I can tell myself that it is contributing to the world's knowledge. Maybe my writing is just my opinion, but expressing it gives me a great deal of pleasure. Making the expression coherent and concise is important to what I call my work. Nobody has to know that I do it. I don't make any money. I don't impress people with with knowledge or skill. But I still consider this my work. I write about opinions, ideas, and events that impress, thrill, or anger me. I argue in favor of righteousness or common sense, or I criticize foolishness or folly when I see it as damaging to people or society. 

Getting  back to work may make my living in the retirement home easier to deal with. I sure hope so--It's a mess like this.  

Evolutionary Change

It was suggested to me today that the next generation would have stronger, more flexible thumbs due to the prevalence of cell phones and games in modern societybe determined.  Preparations are necessary to document this historic evolutionary shift. Doctors will be required to take measurements of thumb length, circumference, and objective strength.  There would also have to be studies to determine visual correlations to thumb dexterity. 

The implications of this study are yet to be determined. Results could prompt studies of big toe expansion due to the wearing of flip-flops and sensitivity to bat guano due to over use of eye liner and mascara.  

It Ain't Over Till It's over"

I moved into the retirement home on Thursday, so I may still be in what I'd call the adjustment phase. I'm learning all the routines and language of the residents and staff. I've met lots of people but I rarely can remember the names. One lady assured me that nobody else could either. We all seem to have similar problems, and I may actually be among the more able contingent. Several people are in their nineties and I know one lady who will be 100 in September. Age is not really the important factor. Maybe there are more important factors when you are old than age. 

The question I ask myself is not "How old am I?" but, "Do I have life in me?" I want to share this exciting adventure of old age with you. One day it will end, but until then there are lessons to learn and events to view and accomplishments to celebrate. It ain't over til it's over.

Learning the RopesI

So I'm learning the rules and routines at Heritage Village now. Meals have always been markers and gauges to measure time, but I was never constrained by them like I am now. Meals are served at 8:00, 12:30 and 5:30. Of course, every apartment has a full kitchen so I could cook at home if I wanted to, but one of the advantages of living here is the freedom from shopping for food, cooking, and cleaning up. Now I feel like I'm on a schedule--I have to go to the dining room on time. It's not like I meeting someone I want to see. It's not a romantic tryst. It noon and it's time for dinner and I have to be there and sit with people who I am just being introduced to. It's life in "the home." 

And I'll get used to it or get over it or cook at home. Human beings adapt and adjust and change. It's not bad and maybe it's a sign of growth. And to think I though there wouldn't be any challenges in living in a retirement home.

Moving In!

I now live in "the home," Heritage Village, a retirement home. It's a nice facility for senior citizens. I moved in less than a week ago, so I'm one of the new kids on the block. I'm still getting adjusted to the routine and the activities. It's been a joke between my kids and me for a long time that one of them would put me in "the home." In the TV show "The Golden Girls" Dorothy was always threatening Sophia with "Shady Pines" I guess this is my "Shady Pines."

Meals are provided. Transportation is provided. Bills are paid except for TV, Internet and phone. There are many activities (most of which I don't care for). I'm still trying to find my niche. Niche theory says there is a place where I'll be useful and maintain my ability to perform ordinary functions. At least it happens in the natural world. Maybe in this artificial civilization there are new rules. Does anyone have any advice?

George Vallant on Aging Well

I read George Vallant's book Aging Well a year or two ago, and today I picked it up for a refresher. I was first introduced to him in a class on Adult Development over thirty years ago. He was the author of one of the texts, Adaptation to Life. I loved the study and the whole concept of development continuing after childhood.

I had children and watched their development cheering when they took first steps, learned to read, and entered adulthood. In all the concern for my growing children, I neglected to note my own development until I took the class. Some things I did out of order. I was taking the class when I was already past 45. I could evaluate some of the adult sequences in my own life, but I had just finished my Bachelor's degree. 

The professor, Dr. Lundberg, suggested there may be stages that extend beyond the 60-65 year age bracket, but they had not been studied or defined yet. My interest in adult development continued until I found myself in the vast desert that lies beyond retirement. To my amazement George Vallant was still actively researching and writing about developmental stages. 

I love his new stages! They offer hope, challenge, and fulfillment for those of us who, like me, are still trying to grow up. Generativity is one of the stages defined by Erik Erikson. It usually begins in middle adulthood when we have learned things we want to pass on to the next generation. We mentor others to spread the joy of our activities. I enjoy teaching people to make bread and kites. And, of course, there's writing. I love to share something of the journey, the memories, the insights. 

What have you learned that you want to share and pass on?

To Honor Those Who Stood To Serve

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier - guard at attention 01 - Arlington National Cemetery - 2012 (Photo credit: dctim1)

TO HONOR THOSE WHO STOOD TO SERVE

Oh, God of freedom and of might,

Who gave us victory in the fight,

Provided bounty in this land

By strength of all who chose to stand,

We thank those who obeyed the call,

Who stepped up and gave their all.

We have no medals to bestow

The depth of gratitude to show.

To honor those who stood to serve,

We pray You bless and still preserve.

            This little poem expresses some of the obligation I feel toward the men and women who have served our country and are serving today.  There are no words, no accolades to offer those who invest their lives in this service .  But I am pleased to pray for their safety.  I am excited when I see them in a parade.  I am moved by their service and sacrifice.  I give thanks for their dedication.