On Going Home

English: After the hedge-cutter. The lane from Newton Valence to Selborne (Gracious Street when it reaches Selborne) just after a visit by the hedge-cutter. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I went home to visit most of my kids last week. It was really good to see them. I do love them, but going to see them is hard. First it costs money for the plane ticket. Then I have to be housed and fed. There is also a real problem with deciding who to stay with and how to use the time. I'm usually pretty sure they don't want their schedules disrupted by my visit, even though they are gracious.
I get the feeling sometimes that I'm not understanding the messages. They want to see me, but they don't know what to do with me. I'm not relevant to their lives in the way I was before. It's sort of the same with me. I don't really have any command of their lives or play a defining role in the day to day business of life.

We shared the old memories and laughed about old jokes, but the new and future things are built around their children and their jobs. It made me sad that I'm no longer included.

Perspectives on Getting Old

English: Betty White at the premiere for The Proposal (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On the subject of "Getting Old," everybody is an expert. No matter what your age is, you are growing older everyday. Even if you don't qualify as old now, you are still headed in that direction. You have preconceptions about what it means to get old and you have anxiety about how your body and your brain will make the transition to "old."

The advertising world is thrilled with it. The commercials for anti-aging creams and face-lifts reveals the staunch army of people ready to help you defy the aging that is already happening. There was a notable French woman who lived to be 122. Betty White at 92 gamely pushes on. I really enjoyed her show called "Off their Rockers" with a large cast of old people who hoaxed younger and more gullible people on camera. I'm sure the poor victims were adequately compensated. But it was fun to watch the old folks get one over on the younger, more able generation. It's wonderful to see the collapse of confidence and arrogance in the younger more vibrant target when the old codgers and old biddies got away with the trick. 

Does getting old make you mean and cantankerous? Maybe. Maybe just occasionally when you need to remember that once you gave old people the short end of the stick and discounted them as having a voice and feelings. Maybe helping old people to reclaim their value and dignity is a worthwhile endeavor.