Is It Time to Give Up Yet?

Red Neck Time Table

If you are 60 and you haven't grown up--you can quit trying. It's too late.

I disagree! At this time, you may still have 40 years or more to do something good if you shape up and pay attention to your responsibilities. Besides that, the longer our average life extension is the more opportunities the social scientists have to expand the scope of stage development. At this time, George Vaillant identifies a stage beginning in the eighties and nineties.  

More avenues to explore, more things to accomplish, more mountains to climb or, at least view, sounds like it would make for a more interesting and exciting old age. I certainly don't want to quit trying. Sometimes, I want to take it slower and smell the roses, so to speak, but I still want to work at it, to have a product to show for my effort.

If you, like me, have retired from the field of battle, no longer raising kids, going to work, or fighting traffic, don't just lie there. The world is waiting for your input and your joy. NO! It's not time to give up! It's time to relish, to love, to remember, let'em know you were here. It ain't over till it's over.

Happiness Is A Choice

The general perception of old age and getting old is negative.  Old people have diseases; they can't hear or see well; they live in the past; they don't understand the modern world; and they are lonely and isolated.

Some of these are true for some people, but they don't have to be true for you. It's your choice. If you can't see or hear well, you may need help in this area. Good glasses and a hearing aid might help.
Chronic diseases reduce your participation in life activities, but they don't necessarily have to destroy your joy in life. Diabetes is usually very manageable, as is COPD, Arthritis, and even some forms of Cancer. Chronic illness no longer an end to mobility and activity. It may limit your participation without totally immobilizing you.

The most important part of your life may be mental. Some mental diseases like Alzhiemers' Disease, Pick's Disease, and Senility may take you mental ability and leave your physical abilities relatively untouched. What ever your condition, prepare yourself to focus on the things you can do, and enjoy the abilities you retain.

Choose to be happy. Remember the moments and events that made you happy. Cherish those memories. You can't live in the past, but you can allow the past to bless your current life. Record those things in a diary. Make a photo array of them. Enjoy them, not to tell others, but just to know that love and joy are always available, even when it's a memory.

Generativity--The Best Way to Grow Old

What are the characteristics that help us enjoy our old age? George Valliant says that the best stage to fit us for old age is generativity with gratitude. Generativity is the stage usually associated with middle age. The time when a person wants to pass on the things he or she has found exciting or interesting. Teachers get this early and the rest of us start, maybe, with our own kids. Teaching a skill or a profession is a way of passing on the things you've learned.

I remember when my husband would start planting the garden in the spring. He usually had 2 or 3 of the kids at his heels. He would lay out the rows and assign one to put the onions in the holes or the seeds in the trench. I did it too, when I took some kites on a windy day and we went out to see what we could fly.

Generativity is available in every activity. It's better if it is a life affirming task. I liked to teach people to make bread. Another word for this is mentoring. It is a more personal form of teaching. It's not telling you how to do it, but showing you how and enjoying the results. The one who is learning gets to show off his skill and the mentor gets to show off the learner. Relationships develop too. 

Find someone to mentor and enjoy getting to watch a new generation learn how to excel in your field. Don't forget to be grateful for what you have learned and those who mentored you.
There is a stage beyond Generativity called Keeper of the Meaning. That comes when you have moved from mentoring one or two people to forming a club or foundation to carry on the activity.

To Gain or Maintain?

I have noticed a considerable loss of strength and dexterity in my arms and legs of late. I determined to try to recover some of it by exercise. I tried walking, then I used the treadmill and lifting weights. Then I gave up.

I have formulated a new theory. Well, maybe it's just a new view of an old theory: As we age, we lose muscle strength and dexterity. It's not something you can prevent. Some loss is inevitable. But don't despair: you can slow the decline and maintain your muscles with effort. But realize you'll never be what you were at 18, or 30, or 50 again. It's just the way things are.

Your brain may be your best chance at things getting better. It can still learn, and remember, and create, at least in the absence of severe impairment or disease, into you very late years--even 100.  Don't give up! It aint over, til it's over.