A Short Visit for the Holiday

I am going on a little trip to visit my daughter, her husband and their two daughters.  It'll be wonderful!  They live in McAllen (that's still in Texas), but it is in the Rio Grand Valley.  I live closer to the Red River Valley.  Well, I used to.  I came from Red River County.  


I am going to enjoy their new house and go shopping and spoil the girls.  That's what grandmothers do.  Grandmothers also tut-tut a lot when the kids wear styles they don't like or eat things that look strange.  I'll stay four days and hug everybody a lot, and I'll get to tell all the stories of what I have been doing lately, and relive the fun parts and re-frame the disasters into a better outcome.  Visiting kids and grand kids is create.  When I come home, I'll get to tell all those stories too.  Remembering what was fun and sharing the pictures is have the fun of going.  It makes the trip last a lot longer, too.

Aging Is Great!

Theories about how older people deal with social attachments  abound.  Do we withdraw from social functions as we age? Are we less interested in connecting with others?  Are we lonely and sad because others withdraw from us?  Maybe it's our focus on memories and the past that drives others away.


I don't engage in much of the social whiz-bang, but I don't think it has much to do with my age.  I didn't enjoy the social clubs/activities much when I was young.  I liked the people and I supported their causes, but small talk and dressing up for the meetings didn't impress me. I find that aging is a distilling process.  I enjoy what I always enjoyed.  Now I have more freedom to say no to things I was hesitant to refuse earlier.  When I was younger, I sometimes engaged in activities because my husband or children wanted or needed to be active.  I was just there by association.


As one woman of 76 said, "Life's too short to spend time with people I don't like doing things I don't enjoy."  I'm not a good 42 player, I never really learned the finer points of Bridge, and Canasta was my aunt's thing, not mine.  I have discovered that my contacts are centered around church, Bible study, and academic pursuits.  I am still trying to learn Latin.  I love Hebrew, though I find it very challenging.  Other languages, history, poetry, and the occasional side trip into brain anatomy fascinate me.  I am still very interested in ecology, too.  The things I like are not topics that come up much in casual conversation, so the opportunity for a quick comment is rare.


The number of personal contacts is one indicator used by statisticians and experts to gauge a person's life expectancy and, also, life satisfaction.  Even if you don't like the people you have contact with, they are still a factor in your life expectancy.  The people we get mad at are significant in our goals and vitality.  If you want to write a letter to the editor or a criticism of a public figure, it may become a driving force in your life.


The people we enjoy are more fun and less stressful to engage with and, maybe, give us more satisfaction.  We have already come through the Liberation Phase which gives us more freedom to think and express ourselves.  In the phase of life Gene Cohen calls "Summing Up" we enter into a time of reflection.  We try to find a larger meaning in our lives, and we want to give back.  I don't know that older people want to retreat from life or other people, but I don't see much incentive to be bored by things or people I don't like.  

Who Is Going to the Home?

My interest in aging and the dynamics involved in getting old has taken a huge jump since I started researching  the questions facing other countries.  


Russia has a much larger population of women who reach retirement age than men.  Men's life expectancy in Russia is 57 while women may expect to live to 72.  One report blamed the severe disruption in the Russian economy due to the conversion to capitalism and resultant depression with causing the rise in men's alcoholism.


India has problems with financing the old age experience of it's aging population.  It is dramatic enough that laws have been passed against abuse of older people and abandonment.  "Grand dumping" is the term used for leaving parents or grandparents in the city without support or help.  In cases where Alzheimer's Disease or other dementia have robbed a person of awareness, this has become more common and laws have been enacted to hold families responsible. 


The president of Peru has announced a non-contributory pension for those over 75 living in extreme poverty.  42% of citizens in Peru over  75 still work.  In rural areas it rises to 65% because they have no other resources.


The USA is certainly not immune to problems financing a comfortable old age.  The Baby Boomer generation has passed into  retirement age.  Social Security has also passed the time where the income from the working public is sufficient to pay the Social Security benefits to those who qualify for it.  There is a Trust Fund that is supposed to keep it afloat until 2033.  Generally this means Americans should do a better job of saving for their retirement.  Social Security alone was never intended to provide for a genteel retirement.


China has historically taken care of the needs of its aging through the family, especially, the sons.  It was considered shameful to allow your elderly family members to be placed in a facility operated by the state.  Recently, this tradition has been changing. 
Reports indicate that old age homes or retirement centers are popping up all over China.


Mexico claims a great advantage to it's US neighbor in Nursing Home accommodations.  It is much cheaper to be old in Mexico that in the US.  You might need to learn more Spanish, but compare costs and services if you want to live "across the border."


All this talk and facts about getting old is getting to me.  I have not forgotten how old I am, but mostly, I just ignore it.  I am still able to do almost everything I want to; well, you know what I mean.  Somethings I don't care to do even if I can.  But I do want to learn from those other countries I have never visited what their view and approach is.  I may have missed some important opportunities.