Aging Is Great!

Theories about how older people deal with social attachments  abound.  Do we withdraw from social functions as we age? Are we less interested in connecting with others?  Are we lonely and sad because others withdraw from us?  Maybe it's our focus on memories and the past that drives others away.


I don't engage in much of the social whiz-bang, but I don't think it has much to do with my age.  I didn't enjoy the social clubs/activities much when I was young.  I liked the people and I supported their causes, but small talk and dressing up for the meetings didn't impress me. I find that aging is a distilling process.  I enjoy what I always enjoyed.  Now I have more freedom to say no to things I was hesitant to refuse earlier.  When I was younger, I sometimes engaged in activities because my husband or children wanted or needed to be active.  I was just there by association.


As one woman of 76 said, "Life's too short to spend time with people I don't like doing things I don't enjoy."  I'm not a good 42 player, I never really learned the finer points of Bridge, and Canasta was my aunt's thing, not mine.  I have discovered that my contacts are centered around church, Bible study, and academic pursuits.  I am still trying to learn Latin.  I love Hebrew, though I find it very challenging.  Other languages, history, poetry, and the occasional side trip into brain anatomy fascinate me.  I am still very interested in ecology, too.  The things I like are not topics that come up much in casual conversation, so the opportunity for a quick comment is rare.


The number of personal contacts is one indicator used by statisticians and experts to gauge a person's life expectancy and, also, life satisfaction.  Even if you don't like the people you have contact with, they are still a factor in your life expectancy.  The people we get mad at are significant in our goals and vitality.  If you want to write a letter to the editor or a criticism of a public figure, it may become a driving force in your life.


The people we enjoy are more fun and less stressful to engage with and, maybe, give us more satisfaction.  We have already come through the Liberation Phase which gives us more freedom to think and express ourselves.  In the phase of life Gene Cohen calls "Summing Up" we enter into a time of reflection.  We try to find a larger meaning in our lives, and we want to give back.  I don't know that older people want to retreat from life or other people, but I don't see much incentive to be bored by things or people I don't like.