Do You Have This Problem?

It's Your Move (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My birthday is next week and I may change my opinion that getting older necessarily means getting better. I notice more chinks in my memory lately, and a lot of wobbling, stumbling, and halting. About the only thing that I still claim to find improvement in is caring and concern. I am more sensitive to emotions and value insights and understanding more now than I ever have before.

I continue to remember people and incidents from my past with alarming detail, mostly things that would cause me distress or embarrassment. Many of these momentary flashes are from my childhood. I often view myself as a clumsy or inept child. The memory belies my parents' stories of my intelligence, but it just as often, causes me to appreciate them and their love for me. 

I remember the houses that were important: Grandmother's house, Auntie's house, the house we lived in, the neighbors' houses. I remember the features that were extravagant to my mind, like stairs, or porches, or windows. It's amazing that now those features are no big deal, but then they were remarkable.

I remember some of those houses, as I grew up, lost much of their charm. When they began to decline or needed a paint job, my thrill and regard for them declined, too. I'm not sure whether it was the decline of the house or my expanding idea of what was good or exciting. Maybe that's just the way life is.