A Bad Week

A week ago today a friend died. I found it a little traumatic although I've only know her since I moved to "the home." She had lived here for quite a while and seemed better adjusted to the situation and the limitations than me. I'll miss her. She knew who everybody was and could help me know who got along with whom and where everyone was from and what they did before they moved here. I'm coming up on my first year anniversary, so I ought to be able to manage from here, but even with a year under my belt, I'll miss Judy laugh and her joy and her philosophy. 

Another friend had an accident and broke his leg. Fred is not a friend I talk to a lot because he cannot hear. Sometimes I write notes to him which relieves the tension of trying to make him hear. I often sit with him in silence because I don't want to embarrass him or frustrate him. He was a physicist and taught at Pan Am University. I would love to get him to expound on physics and hear his take on Hawking and Dark Matter. 

Tomorrow I will try to go to the hospital and sit with him for a while and let his daughter get a break. Today at the memorial for Judi I read some poetry. It helped me find meaning in the loss of my friend. I hope I find meaning in Fred's difficulty too. Maybe it will help relieve my guilt at feeling so helpless in the face of his need.