Lumosity

I am concerned about keeping my brain in good working order for as long as I may need it. I've had the small strokes that don't interfere much with my over-all functioning, but I'm doing what I can to maintain things the way they're supposed to work. A friend suggested I try "Lumosity," a brain training program for memory, problem solving, etc. on the internet. O.K. I'm all signed up.

Some of the games are very demanding, and I get very frustrated with them. Some are more like play, but presumably, they use brain areas that help me keep focus and stay sharp. Whether I really believe that is still to be decided.

My friend suggested it after I had the stroke. She is a smart lady and keeps her mind sharp by giving tests, grading papers, reading academic journals and generally participating in a very active intellectual life. She does engage in the games provided by Lumosity, but I think her brain is active in more demanding pursuits. Sometimes I set higher standards for myself, too. Sometimes I read a little Latin or memorize a new poem. Recently I began a casual reading of Dylan Thomas and T. S. Eliot. I was inspired by Thomas's "Go Not Gentle into that Good Night." Eliot's Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats was a delightful journey into the world of catdom. With the wisdom of Eliot, it is easy to revel in the joy of Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Cats," much of which translates well to people.

Most of the games I play are along the lines of Solitaire or Mahjong. All of these are better than the endless mind-numbing re-runs on daytime TV. Since I have little else to do, I feel guilty that I am not making my way through the shelves of books in my house. Well, I do read one now and then. Keep the brain active, conventional wisdom says. If you don't use it, you'll lose it. Guess what? Even if you do use it, you'll still lose it. That's the Second Law* rearing it's ugly head.

* Second Law of Thermodynamics' states that matter is continually moving from a state of order to a state of disorder. My grandmother said "The world is going to hell in a hand basket." Enjoy it while it lasts. 

Doctors You Really Should Avoid

It has long been a principle of mine that we should avoid knowing the name a a great many specialists. They may be wonderful and engaging people, but when you are familiar with them, it indicates you are experiencing rare and confusing symptoms not easily dealt with. It may be difficult to schedule an appointment and they cost more. It seems to be unavoidable since the kind of problems they deal with may be more prevalent as we get older.

I came to this conclusion when my child broke her leg on Thanksgiving Day in 1966. The family doctor was writing in the record on the desk and said, "Who's your favorite Orthopedist?" I found this shocking and disorienting. We brought her to the hospital to see the doctor after hours on a holiday. I didn't want it to get weirder than that. Since I just stared at him, he chose one for me. We dealt with the leg problem for a year and came to know the Orthopedist very well. She still has problems with it--knee replacement, etc.

Yes, you may require the services of specialists, but don't covet to know them up close and personal, or observe them at work. It may lead you into areas of study you aren't prepared for. 

How Important Is Home?

Where we call home is important to how we see ourselves. Our childhood home is significant in all the homes we create for ourselves after we leave it, but each new home seems to be a reflection of ourselves.

I had only two homes from the time I was a child till my husband died, not counting the dorm room at college. Since he died I have had four homes. I lived in a very nice town home alone for a couple of years, then my daughter's husband died and she moved in with me in the same similar town home with her daughter. Since my daughter is disabled, I tried to make that home convenient and satisfactory for her.  

When my health began to suffer, I moved to a retirement apartment that provided some amenities to lessen my stress: meals, light housekeeping, activities, etc. After a year of that, I found I was not happy or less stressed and moved to an apartment in which I was on my own again. This move has forced me to confront the importance of making home my refuge and my citadel. I have flirted with the idea of becoming a hermit ever since Frank died. Maybe now I am at the threshold. 

Being a hermit is not all that bad except that I struggle to find a reason to get out of bed. I don't have anything to do. Nobody depends on me. Sometimes TV is boring beyond belief. I can resort to the computer, and it does help. You see the result of my efforts in this blog. Consider what you want to do when you retire, and make plans that will provide a sustainable interest should you find yourself in a similar situation. Boredom is a terrible burden!
 

Things to Avoid When Getting Old

As I get older, there are some things that I don't want to do that seem to be required of older people. Some people have suggested I might benefit from using a cane, my doctor, for instance, since my walking has become unstable. Canes are really a mark of authority and mark the owner as venerable and respected, however, I'm not attracted by the aluminium ones I see, even if they are decorated with strawberries or candy canes. 

I'm not interested in the walkers that have wheels and look like a chariot, either. My sister-in-law was very pleased with hers because when she got tired she could sit on it, and it had a basket beneath the seat for carrying items. One friend was forever leaving it somewhere and then had to retrieve it later.

This may be a required skill for getting old, but I'm fighting it as hard as I can. If I have to use a cane,  I want one that looks nice, wooden, waxed and elegant. I might want to twirl it or flourish it on the street. In a pinch it might serve as a weapon. My husband had one that could serve as a stick to measure the height of your horse. I'm not sure that it's a requirement to be a Kentucky Colonel, but it sounds good to me. 

Waiting for God

English: Stephanie Cole on set with Doc Martin Series 4 in Port Isaac (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don't want to play the 'feel sorry for me' card, but I keep finding things that don't work anymore. It forces me to move on to find things I can do that I still enjoy. My fingers have become arthritic, and my vision is impaired so sewing is no longer a diversion. I was never an artist although my friend did all she could to bring that about. I can still type so the computer is my best hope to be productive and active.

I used to enjoy an English comedy about two old people in a home for old people entitled "Waiting for God." It starred Tom Crowden and Stephanie Cole. I loved it. Now I love it even more since I'm there now. They were forever battling the people who thought they knew what the old folks needed. They were still mentally active though somewhat less agile than they wished. They had strong minds and opinions and they planned to use them.

I'm with them. I did live in such an establishment for a year. I finally moved out and now I'm supposed to be old, lonely and embittered by life. At least, that's the view the popular magazines promote.

Betty White's show "Off Their Rockers" is a wonderful retreat from good sense and decorum and gives old people a chance to let their hair down and live it up. I know it's all in good fun, and most of us would not want to violate normal mores and customs in this manner all the time. But it does give me a good laugh to see old people having fun at the expense of the people with better sight, hearing and balance. At least in the safety of home on TV we get to see the joke and laugh with the old people .

Tribute to Jim Griffin

Jim Griffin died yesterday morning. I’ve known Jim and Lou for over 15 years, maybe 20. He was my Sunday school teacher for several years during that time. He was honest, gentle, and compassionate. I’m sorry the world no longer has his grace and wisdom. But I’m glad I knew him. I’m glad there are still people here than benefited from his grace and wisdom. I’m glad we were enriched by him. I hope Heaven has a portal for him to view the River in Judea.

Not Everything Is Getting Better

I really value the things that getting older has taught me. I really do believe that I'm a better person now than I was when I was younger. I really do make a better critic, and I really do enjoy life more.

But there are aspects of life that suffer with the aging process. My balance is going down the drain as I sit at the computer. My vision is getting worse every day. My hearing is probably going in the same direction, but it ain't over till it's over. I still have new projects, although some of them may be a rehash of old ones; I still make new friends, even though the activities we engage in may have shifted.

Forgiveness has become more primary to my life and my memories;  I have found the vehemence I felt toward people I used to dislike has faded, and it is easier to consign those who insult me to the providence of payback. 

One of the primary benefits of getting old is finding the things that are improving and adjusting for those that are getting worse. By and large, the things that are deteriorating are physical things and the those that depend of mental and emotional resources are improving. I think I can handle this. My brain is still making connections and my soul is expanding daily. I love to find the things I do better, and I get over the things I can't do anymore. Or I give my daughter and granddaughter a chance to show what they can do. I am still getting better as I get older. You too! Let's celebrate!