New Words

I recently got a new edition of the Dictionary of the Future compiled and edited by Faith Popcorn and Adam Hanft. It made me feel very old and out of date. As the name suggests, it is focused on new words coming into use as new technologies and customs become popular and prevalent in our society. I think the new words are coming thicker and faster now than they did in the past. Life moves at a faster pace, due in large part, to the rapidity of technological innovations.

History is losing it significance as we move farther from it. I hear a lot of mumbling about the lack of skill in methods our grandparents excelled in, like building and farming; even cooking and sewing are a lost art. The need is still present, but it's easier to hire an expert than to do it yourself.

Wisdom or Holy Spirit?

Have you ever been challenged by this question? I made a decision, and now I question my choice. Was it really a wise choice? Am I just troubled because I feel guilty?

I made the decision based on my needs, partly because I'm 80 and partly because I am diabetic. I moved to an area when my youngest daughter lives and she suggested I would be better off here than where I was living. She thought I was doing too much housework and providing care for my disabled daughter at the expense of my own needs. I guess I was. As soon as I moved I needed gall bladder surgery. I would have stalled or denied had I stayed where I was.

My guilt comes from the difficulties my disabled daughter is having. Money, personal care, and loneliness plague her now, and I miss the chance to remedy the situation. The attempt to provide her help with bathing, cooking, and cleaning chores would probably be beyond my ability since I have had 2 strokes since I came here. Now my balance is compromised, I have not fallen, but I stumble a lot and feel very insecure.

I am praying for help from God. I need to be sure she is safe and getting the care she needs. She gets nursing services from a home help agency and her daughter is there to help her with daily care. I suppose I should be satisfied that her needs are being met. I still pray every day for God to intervene and give her comfort and solace.

Now I pray for me to be secure in God's love and relieved of guilt that I am not taking care of things. Maybe if I can get over the idea that I have to fix everything, I will be able to receive His assurance. At least that's what I'm praying will happen.

How I Got Old

When I was 50,  I talked about old age
but I could still run,
and I had a new job.

When I was 60, I retired
But I could still take care of my husband
and I had a new grand child.

When I was 70 the diabetes got worse,
But I could still drive,
And I loved to write poetry.

When I was 80, I had a stroke
but I still lived alone,
and I denied that my memory was getting sketchy.

Now, I am facing 90, and I stagger when I walk,
but God still loves me,
and I'm invited to the wedding of His Son 

Sleepless Everywhere

I recognize many benefits and advantages to getting older. I have few responsibilities for anyone else. I don't have to work anymore. I don't have to clean up after other people. I am my own person. Of course, there are some negatives here, too. I am alone. I don't drive anymore, so I am also stranded. All of these have both negative and positive aspects. The feature that seems to attend aging that bugs me most is sleeplessness.

I can't go to sleep easily anymore. I have decided this may be due to my level of activity. I don't do anything to make me tired anymore. House work, shopping, cleaning, cooking, all those chores that seem so boring provided the energy out-lay that made me value going to bed at night. Knowing that makes it sound like it would be an easy fix: Just work or walk or do something.

It's not that easy. Even walking when there is no where to go is pointless. I have a small apartment. Working in it gets even the vacuuming done quickly. I don't have anyone to cook for so that one is done too easily, too.

I have resorted to the over the counter meds for sleep. Bad news guys. If I take the pills and go to bed at a reasonable time, say 11:00p.m. I'll probable sleep 2 or 2 1/2 hours, Then I wake up and can't go back to sleep till the sun comes up.

The final result of this frustrating regime is constant sleepiness. I could beg the doctor for the Valium or other medication that would really knock me out, but I don't really want to become a drug addict.
I have spoken with other people who are my age, and I find this is rather common. Maybe we could form a support group. We might save all our telephoning for after midnight. At least we could make could use of our time. I have started writing letters when I can't sleep. Makes sense to me. If I can't sleep, at least I have company.

How To Prevent Loneliness and Depression

Strategy # 1

When I get really bored, I read articles from scientific journals. These guys work hard and they face a lot of problems. Give them your support. The one I read this morning was a study on loneliness, isolation and depression in elderly people conducted in Delhi.

I'm not quite sure there are enough common factors to assume the study is applicable to an old woman living in McAllen, Texas, but. what the heck, I'll go with it. The outcome of the study indicated that loneliness and depression increased the likelihood of mortality in the elderly.

Surprise!

Strategy # 2

The study did not give many remedies for this situation. I'll suggest a few. Learn to enjoy the Baseball box scores. Read more comic books. Take up ballroom dancing. You'll always have a partner. Learn doubles tennis: You'll have a partner and someone to play against. So far, I've only offered strategies to prevent reading scientific journals. Of course, some of them will also prevent you from being lonely, but only in select situations.

The bottom line is learn to entertain yourself. Find the books that thrill you even if you've read them before. Play games that are still fun when you loose. Do things it's more fun to do alone, like fly a kite. Read the deeply engrossing things like The Song of Solomon that hold truths you can't explain to anybody else, but you get to turn over and over in your mind to enjoy the different facets.

Strategy # 3

You can also learn to anticipate Heaven. Learn the language of Heaven. Learn to love. Heaven will be populated with love. Revelations is a good start. First, love the people you love; next, love the people you don't love. It takes some effort; work at it. Finally, you have to love the people you don't know, but you love them anyway.

The loving part is the most fun and the most productive.  And you'll never be lonely.

Give Your Brain a Work Out

I hear a lot of ways people, doctors sometimes, offer to avoid AD(Alzheimer's Disease), but I'm not sure any of them really work. One piece of advice is just common sense: 
1. Take care of yourself. Don't get any other disease because it can be the trigger that prompts AD to begin affecting your brain.

2. Another common sense way to avoid AD is continue your active life style. Walk or work out because that insures good blood flow to the brain.

3. Eat well. It insures good nutrition to the brain. Take vitamins if you have to but make sure your brain gets all the essential nutrition.

4. Do hard work with your brain. Work difficult math problems. Learn a new language.Work crossword puzzles--hard ones. 

5. Listen to classical music.

6. Read things that are difficult to understand. You might want to keep a dictionary close. Look up the hard words.

Use your brain. The way to make your body strong is to work it. The same thing goes for your brain. The way to keep it in shape is to work it. All these things I've advised are things that will make new connections in your neurons. It's the number of connections that make you smarter, not the number of neurons. 

Alzheimer's Disease or Dementia?

What is Normal Dementia?

Alzheimer's Disease is a well known and well documented problem of older people. What is the difference between AD and normal dementia?

There is no such thing as normal Dementia. There are some areas of brain activity that reduce or slow down with advanced aging, but Dementia is not normal. Dementia, like Alzheimer's Disease, is a disease. Dementia is not a milder form of Alzheimer's Disease. Indeed, in more advanced stages it is quite as debilitating as AD. Some level of forgetfulness is normal even for a young person, but there are tests to determine if the memory loss is indicative of illness. Strokes sometimes cause similar problems, but with strokes the diagnosis is easier.

Alzheimer's Disease

Alzheimer's Disease consists of several symptoms found in a common that usually begin with memory loss, root-finding difficulties, inability to solve problems, and lack of assurance in making decisions. The patients may exhibit dressing apraxia, that is inability to know what pieces of clothing goes on first, or what to wear to bed or to breakfast.

Memory is the first problem many people notice with dementia. Other problems include problems with language, problem solving, and following instructions.

Movement Disorders

Parkinson's Disease is a form of dementia that is caused by the body's inability to produce dopamine. L-dopa is often prescribed for this problem. It begins with movement problems and causes problems with walking, hand movements and voice disruption. Other brain functions may be retained for a long time.

Huntington's Chorea is a disease that has these symptoms. It is inherited and often common in a family as the victims get older. Most of the patient's intellect is preserved until advanced stages. In advance stages the patient may not be able to restrain movement. Writhing and twisting of arms and legs may be constant making it impossible to lie on a bed or sleep normally.

Diagnosis

Sometimes symptoms may present as a side effect of medication. It is wise to make sure the symptoms are not related to medication. The saddest thing about side effects is that the medication was intended to help the patient and instead of helping, it is causing other problems.

With any of these problems, it is best to get a good diagnosis in the beginning. Make sure you know what you are treating.

Is It Time to Give Up Yet?

Red Neck Time Table

If you are 60 and you haven't grown up--you can quit trying. It's too late.

I disagree! At this time, you may still have 40 years or more to do something good if you shape up and pay attention to your responsibilities. Besides that, the longer our average life extension is the more opportunities the social scientists have to expand the scope of stage development. At this time, George Vaillant identifies a stage beginning in the eighties and nineties.  

More avenues to explore, more things to accomplish, more mountains to climb or, at least view, sounds like it would make for a more interesting and exciting old age. I certainly don't want to quit trying. Sometimes, I want to take it slower and smell the roses, so to speak, but I still want to work at it, to have a product to show for my effort.

If you, like me, have retired from the field of battle, no longer raising kids, going to work, or fighting traffic, don't just lie there. The world is waiting for your input and your joy. NO! It's not time to give up! It's time to relish, to love, to remember, let'em know you were here. It ain't over till it's over.

Happiness Is A Choice

The general perception of old age and getting old is negative.  Old people have diseases; they can't hear or see well; they live in the past; they don't understand the modern world; and they are lonely and isolated.

Some of these are true for some people, but they don't have to be true for you. It's your choice. If you can't see or hear well, you may need help in this area. Good glasses and a hearing aid might help.
Chronic diseases reduce your participation in life activities, but they don't necessarily have to destroy your joy in life. Diabetes is usually very manageable, as is COPD, Arthritis, and even some forms of Cancer. Chronic illness no longer an end to mobility and activity. It may limit your participation without totally immobilizing you.

The most important part of your life may be mental. Some mental diseases like Alzhiemers' Disease, Pick's Disease, and Senility may take you mental ability and leave your physical abilities relatively untouched. What ever your condition, prepare yourself to focus on the things you can do, and enjoy the abilities you retain.

Choose to be happy. Remember the moments and events that made you happy. Cherish those memories. You can't live in the past, but you can allow the past to bless your current life. Record those things in a diary. Make a photo array of them. Enjoy them, not to tell others, but just to know that love and joy are always available, even when it's a memory.

Generativity--The Best Way to Grow Old

What are the characteristics that help us enjoy our old age? George Valliant says that the best stage to fit us for old age is generativity with gratitude. Generativity is the stage usually associated with middle age. The time when a person wants to pass on the things he or she has found exciting or interesting. Teachers get this early and the rest of us start, maybe, with our own kids. Teaching a skill or a profession is a way of passing on the things you've learned.

I remember when my husband would start planting the garden in the spring. He usually had 2 or 3 of the kids at his heels. He would lay out the rows and assign one to put the onions in the holes or the seeds in the trench. I did it too, when I took some kites on a windy day and we went out to see what we could fly.

Generativity is available in every activity. It's better if it is a life affirming task. I liked to teach people to make bread. Another word for this is mentoring. It is a more personal form of teaching. It's not telling you how to do it, but showing you how and enjoying the results. The one who is learning gets to show off his skill and the mentor gets to show off the learner. Relationships develop too. 

Find someone to mentor and enjoy getting to watch a new generation learn how to excel in your field. Don't forget to be grateful for what you have learned and those who mentored you.
There is a stage beyond Generativity called Keeper of the Meaning. That comes when you have moved from mentoring one or two people to forming a club or foundation to carry on the activity.

To Gain or Maintain?

I have noticed a considerable loss of strength and dexterity in my arms and legs of late. I determined to try to recover some of it by exercise. I tried walking, then I used the treadmill and lifting weights. Then I gave up.

I have formulated a new theory. Well, maybe it's just a new view of an old theory: As we age, we lose muscle strength and dexterity. It's not something you can prevent. Some loss is inevitable. But don't despair: you can slow the decline and maintain your muscles with effort. But realize you'll never be what you were at 18, or 30, or 50 again. It's just the way things are.

Your brain may be your best chance at things getting better. It can still learn, and remember, and create, at least in the absence of severe impairment or disease, into you very late years--even 100.  Don't give up! It aint over, til it's over.

Have You Seen a Blessing Today?

A friend proposed this thought to me. Have you been a blessing or seen a blessing or been a blessing to anyone today? Well, maybe. I've prayed for some and thought about some. Maybe there was a blessing in there somewhere. I got blessed today by someone else who shared and loved and included me.

Now I get to remind people who read this that these blessings are all around us everyday and all we need to do is accept them. The work is already done. All that's left is just to receive and be thankful. Thank the one who blessed you and thank God for that one and pass it on. If you don't see a blessing in your life, then you get to start the chain. Bless someone else and start the ball rolling. How they pass it on is their opportunity to participate. Be a blessing to someone today!

Cheer Up!

I'm old now so I thought I'd try to modify my posts to accommodate my strength and endurance. I can write more if I make them shorter and less taxing on this old mind and body. Here goes:
Cheer Up! For Heaven's sake, quit being so negative. Look on the bright side. There is bound to be a good attitude in there some where. Do you remember being 30? That was a great time. Still had a lot to do. Kids were growing up. There were things to accomplish. We had some great times. Now I remember them with joy.

What about 50? It was good too. I was more settled. But I had a new job, and I enjoyed it, too. Kids were doing good. Frank was well. Yeah like Sinatra said, "That was a very good year,"

70? Well it wasn't bad. I made it through. We did have some tough times, but we made it. We did what we had to. All in all, I've had a good run.

Going on 80. Getting real close, but I'm still having fun, still know who I am and what my goal is and still making the effort. Cheer Up! The end is just ahead, and it looks like I'm gonna make it.

Do You Have This Problem?

It's Your Move (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My birthday is next week and I may change my opinion that getting older necessarily means getting better. I notice more chinks in my memory lately, and a lot of wobbling, stumbling, and halting. About the only thing that I still claim to find improvement in is caring and concern. I am more sensitive to emotions and value insights and understanding more now than I ever have before.

I continue to remember people and incidents from my past with alarming detail, mostly things that would cause me distress or embarrassment. Many of these momentary flashes are from my childhood. I often view myself as a clumsy or inept child. The memory belies my parents' stories of my intelligence, but it just as often, causes me to appreciate them and their love for me. 

I remember the houses that were important: Grandmother's house, Auntie's house, the house we lived in, the neighbors' houses. I remember the features that were extravagant to my mind, like stairs, or porches, or windows. It's amazing that now those features are no big deal, but then they were remarkable.

I remember some of those houses, as I grew up, lost much of their charm. When they began to decline or needed a paint job, my thrill and regard for them declined, too. I'm not sure whether it was the decline of the house or my expanding idea of what was good or exciting. Maybe that's just the way life is.

Learning The Old Lessons Over

The title of this blog is damning. Just because I'm getting older doesn't mean I'm getting better. It sometimes means I've learned new stuff or found a new obsession or formed a new habit, but nothing in that means I'm actually better. It's my goal to improve as I age, and that is what I expect. That it's happening is yet to be realized.

Maybe I'm just resigned to the whole process, and acceptance is the best I can hope for. Maybe not. Sometimes I get a new grip on the rope. This week I've been reading literature for writers and reviewing the lessons I learned 40 or 50 years ago, and some of it sets something on fire in my mind or soul. Maybe there's time to get better yet.

At least I have a new yearning to write better and more, to be consistent, to be precise and do it better. I guess the proof will come when I follow through.  

Winding Down

Dr Pepper bottle (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Getting older is getting better again. I went to the doctor and got very good news. I'll get my last mammogram this week! I don't know why I resented that thing so much. I just knew that was not a problem that affects me, and I hated to do it. The doctor said that the recommendations have been revised and seventy five is now the new cut-off. She even gave me the option of not doing it this time, but with the promise of no-more, I'll give it a grand good-bye. 

I also got more good news: My blood work showed that I have very good control of my A1C. If you have diabetes, this is the one that promises that you blood sugar is not destroying your kidneys and you retina. I'd really like to keep those parts that help me stay independent and active.

I was also very glad that the A1C also showed the reason for a good reading on the cholesterol and triglycerides. I have recently given up bread and Dr. Pepper. I assume the dietary changes are being reflected in my numbers. It's a good thing because I couldn't deal with the side effects of the medication. Maybe I shouldn't say I gave them up. I don't keep a stash of Dr. Pepper in the cabinet and rarely eat bread. I can drink a DP when we go out and I can still have a piece of toast with my eggs now and then, so it's not like I'm deprived.

In other areas I'm also getting better as I get older. I'm alone most of the time, but I have made some friends at church and I go to Bible study on Thursday. I spend some time in prayer every day. I eat breakfast with my kids that live here on Sunday morning. My income is reduced which prompts me to be more careful with money and do a better job with my budget.

I read new poets and get a wider exposure to artistic and intellectual pursuits. At least I'm learning new names and forms. I don't really like some of those forms, but it's good for me to understand them. I'm not at all sure that learning new things keeps me young, but it does keep me abreast of what's going on. I don't really like to be considered the East Texas red-neck hick, though that is essentially what I am. Small town-back woods girl come to the Valley late in life, just here to wind down. This is true, but I want to have fun in the process.

On Going Home

English: After the hedge-cutter. The lane from Newton Valence to Selborne (Gracious Street when it reaches Selborne) just after a visit by the hedge-cutter. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I went home to visit most of my kids last week. It was really good to see them. I do love them, but going to see them is hard. First it costs money for the plane ticket. Then I have to be housed and fed. There is also a real problem with deciding who to stay with and how to use the time. I'm usually pretty sure they don't want their schedules disrupted by my visit, even though they are gracious.
I get the feeling sometimes that I'm not understanding the messages. They want to see me, but they don't know what to do with me. I'm not relevant to their lives in the way I was before. It's sort of the same with me. I don't really have any command of their lives or play a defining role in the day to day business of life.

We shared the old memories and laughed about old jokes, but the new and future things are built around their children and their jobs. It made me sad that I'm no longer included.

Perspectives on Getting Old

English: Betty White at the premiere for The Proposal (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On the subject of "Getting Old," everybody is an expert. No matter what your age is, you are growing older everyday. Even if you don't qualify as old now, you are still headed in that direction. You have preconceptions about what it means to get old and you have anxiety about how your body and your brain will make the transition to "old."

The advertising world is thrilled with it. The commercials for anti-aging creams and face-lifts reveals the staunch army of people ready to help you defy the aging that is already happening. There was a notable French woman who lived to be 122. Betty White at 92 gamely pushes on. I really enjoyed her show called "Off their Rockers" with a large cast of old people who hoaxed younger and more gullible people on camera. I'm sure the poor victims were adequately compensated. But it was fun to watch the old folks get one over on the younger, more able generation. It's wonderful to see the collapse of confidence and arrogance in the younger more vibrant target when the old codgers and old biddies got away with the trick. 

Does getting old make you mean and cantankerous? Maybe. Maybe just occasionally when you need to remember that once you gave old people the short end of the stick and discounted them as having a voice and feelings. Maybe helping old people to reclaim their value and dignity is a worthwhile endeavor.

Genealogy Is A Chance to Try Again

Genealogy is fun. I like to find the stories and evidence of the people who came before me. I like to rummage around in the attic of my ancestors and see where they lived and what was going on in their lives and their locations. Sometimes I find little gems of glistening purity that ties me to them, and sometimes I find a scoundrel hiding behind four wives and 9 children and not a divorce in sight. 

Oh, yes, I have to claim Cambell as a forebear. It does not fill me with pride that he blazed a trail, and I have not followed in his footsteps, but his first wife was a gem. She raised that mob of children he left when he went in search of other prey, or other wives. She sounds like the pioneer wife we read about in history books and family memorabilia, who "held her word and kept her troth/and cleared the forest and tamed the wild/ and gave the breast to the new born child."*

Genealogy may mark family traits and traditions you want to claim or those you would like to change. I have found both. I like the association I find in my family history with the people who farmed and moved west, at least as far as Texas.They were hardworking pioneers, and with the exception of Campbell, honest and faithful. Even Campbell was a farmer, but I don't know how successful he was at it. His wife did pretty well for herself. 

Getting older is sort of a stimulus to researching the family roots. Now I have grandchildren that engage in the history projects in school, and I am an expert for their study. It's kinda nice to have all this knowledge and power. Of course, I have to be honest about Campbell.


*Quote from John Brown's Body by Stephen Vincent Benet  

How Do Fractals Work?

 

This is an example of a fractal.

 

 

Here you have the definition of a fractal: 
"A fractal is a never-ending pattern. Fractals are infinitely

complex patterns that are self-similar across different scales. They

are created by repeating a simple process over and over in an

ongoing feedback loop."

 I found this definition on the Fractal Foundation.org website. I still don't know what that means except that it is a beautiful and arresting design. The array I found of these is astounding. Study this  one, and there are many of them, reminds me of other ways I believe fractals are an  important visual symbol. To view other examples click here.

The point I am aiming at is the beauty in a life filled with repeated acts of love or kindness. People who practice random acts of love and kindness see a pattern developing that is comparable to the fractal. They find the patterns to include small details as well as the wide sweeping events in their lives.

A fractal may begin with the little stuff, but if it is consistent across a life, the repeated design carries justice, love, faithfulness and joy. Of course repeated acts of deception and evil form a recognizable pattern too, but it may reveal chaos and bitterness.

Consider what kind of pattern you are creating. Do you like the way it looks in small matters? It's just the same in the big things as it is in the details.

Remember, as you get older the patterns are more evident. It may be hard to change your fractal if you wait too long.